Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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