I think I am morally bankrupt
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
