I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
