it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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