You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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