I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize