Tell her she can't have a vagina
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
