i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
