Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
