The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
