is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
