And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
