the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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