At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
