What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i came on her dog
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
