STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
