I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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