We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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