he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
