i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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