She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the condom got lost in my hair
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
