you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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