sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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