how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
