FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
