i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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