1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think people are normalizing furries
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
