hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
