i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
