Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
