so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
