youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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