Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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