just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
