Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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