I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well you can't waste a boner
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
