I wish I only lived at night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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