Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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