plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
