I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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