3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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