imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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