I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
