Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
