I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
