I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
