What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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