Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They took my balls.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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