so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
