Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
