blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
